JANEK MÄGGI: SILDARUS, STAY STRONG!
, Eesti Päevaleht
Watching the breakups of others is the best thing in the world!
The unpleasant partner must be kicked out, as there's no doubt that they're cheating on you. As soon as possible. The longer you drag it out, the harder and more unfair the division of property will be. Assets as well as debts keep growing and the stronger party will always find a way to take the weaker one to the cleaners.
The courts don't help, as they look for unfair compromises, and lawyers are expensive and never get anywhere. If you have any children at all, you should never have them out of wedlock. Cohabitation without marriage is pointless, the risk too high. There is always someone somewhere, who is better, smarter, richer, prettier and just like that, your partner is gone. With your things, the values you created together.
Casual encounters must be avoided, as you never know when someone will accuse you of looking at them for too long or pushing them against a wall. It's bad even if you didn't do it, but catastrophic if you actually cared about someone too much for some time.
Perfection is rare
But what should we do if we haven't managed to live the perfect life that other people like, where everything is in place: birth, schools, marriage, job, children, death? We fell in love at the wrong time and with the wrong person, but it took years before we realised that we got it wrong. We have suffered and suffered, and when we finally break, society finds it shameful and deplorable.
The joy of gloating is particularly shocking if you're a celebrity. Posting on Facebook that "...we'll always be friends and raise our children together, and this is our last public post on the topic as we want to protect them" may work in the case of a B-list celebrity, but it won't save those who are at the top of the ladder of fame.The people whose lives are exactly like the lives of celebrities want to be sure that the lives of celebrities can never be perfect either. They love and hate, marry and divorce, hug and fight. Knowing this is liberating and a blessing at the same time. They are exactly like us.
An honest offer
What advice can you give people who seem to have fallen out for good? The best solution is the same for everyone: make up. But I can't! Yes, you can. Just give in. He's hurting me! But aren't you hurting him? Fair divorces are possible if the counterparties come up with a solution where they agree to give the right to make decisions to the other party. There are two tables to divide. Take whichever one you want, I'm fine with the one that's left over.
Also, you shouldn't forget the fact that you only enter peace talks with the enemy. Ingrid Veidenberg, the editor-in-chief of Kroonika, recently said at the Mother's Day Conference 'The Last Happy Relationship' that people are most interested in people getting together and breaking up, and it's particularly good if both of these people are famous. The more dramatic everything is, the better, and no political intrigue can even come close to a juicy divorce story.
Now is the best time for moderately famous people who want to get divorced. Nobody will notice your Facebook post against the background of the tragic divorce stories of people more famous than you. You reduce the feelgood factor of the society, but you spare yourself and your loved ones.
However, those of you who still have the ability to love, don't give up. Marriage and your spouse may be unpleasant, but they're not like that all the time. There are also good times. Especially on the long road. Even if winter is cold and rainy, it's sometimes followed by a warm and cheerful summer. Let's love ourselves, but our enemies even more. Then we are also loved. Sildarus, stay strong!