ESTONIA BUYS THE FIRST WIFE FROM LATVIA

The Republic of Estonia is hiring Ieva Kupce from Latvia to serve as its First Lady. She will be earning 30 percent of the President’s salary, will be able to use an official car at the expense of the state, the state will be covering her travel expenses and she will also gain a right to numerous benefits based on the law. Unlike Luisa Värk, the Prime Minister’s wife, who has to work and manage businesses. 

Paragraph 8 of the President of the Republic Official Perquisites Act says: “After the end of the President’s mandate, the allowance specified in point 3 of subsection 1 of this section is to be paid to the spouse of the President until the death of that spouse in an amount equal to 20 percent of the salary of the President.”

Here lies the reason why the President must get married urgently. Being the President’s wife is highly beneficial. Through this deal, Ieva Kupce will be earning hundreds of thousands of euros in her lifetime. For example, should Ieva Kupce live at least to the President’s current age, the future First Lady will be able to cash in from the Republic of Estonia amounts exceeding the average wages in the country for at least 23 years, simply for who she is. Thus, her salary in the next six months would be unparalleled to anyone’s in the history of the Republic of Estonia so far.

“Ilves becoming the President was not a disappointment for me, but his tenure has been. To be honest, I don’t care about his affairs with women, I would like him to be a moral compass for the society, someone who would carry some sort of reasonable visions for the future. The Twitter posts certainly don’t qualify as such”, journalist Nils Niitra wrote in Facebook.

Tens, perhaps hundreds of thousands of men and women in Estonia feel this way. The jealousy towards Evelin Ilves was cruel, but it will be even worse for Kupce. Fortunately, she does not have particularly long-term social connections in the Estonian society, which would allow her to spread information about what will be going on in Kadriorg over the next six months.

Iivi Anna Masso, former advisor of President Ilves, may be crazy, but the person who hired/fired her must have been even more insane. “Iivi Anna has again chosen a witty way for refuting the allegations against her good name in the yellow newspapers. The connections described only exist as a fabrication in her head and would make a great scenario for a TV show,” Siim Raie, Chief of the President’s Office at the time, has recently said. The happenings in Kadriorg leave the Buckingham Palace far behind.

How did Estonian people feel when they heard the news?

This is based on what people have told me in the last few days. Estonians don’t need a First Lady. Perhaps even the President isn’t needed. But turning the Independence Day into one’s wedding would be a dream come true for any Estonian! Congratulations! Long live Estonia? But this is not living. Long live Latvia! Long live America!

The TV show with a scenario written by Iivi Anna Masso will go on. Long live Estonia!